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When the journalist calls, mix and match buzz words to embellish your legal department

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Inspired by Elliott Hurwitt in Corp. Counsel, Vol. 16, May 2009 at 102, who spoofed PR releases by technology vendors, here is my similar approach for general counsel who want to praise their group. When words fail you, don’t fail to use these crunchy words. Simply mix-and-match to fill in the blanks of this sentence:

“As chief legal officer, I am proud that MegaBigCo has a [adjective] Law Department committed to [noun] and devoted to [verb].”


Adjective
Excellent,
World-class,
Synergistic,
Global,
Best-in-class,
Technology-savvy,
Integrated,
Strategic,
Aligned,
Flexible,
Lean and mean,
Veteran.

Noun
Teamwork,
Business acumen,
Collegiality,
Professionalism,
Pro bono,
Proaction,
Applied knowledge,
Future-state enhancement,
Risk prevention,
Seven Sigma,
Diversity,
Action learning.

Verb
Satisfying clients,
Stewarding corporate resources,
Adding value,
High-performance,
Innovating our practice,
Shaping careers,
Thinking out-of-the-box,
Leveraging skills,
Educating,
Inspire,
Benchmarking excellence,
Partnering with key firms.